Sky Blue and Black

http://youtu.be/-BkNF-tOW_w

Sky Blue Sky Black

I hear the sound of the world where we played
And the far too simple beauty
Of the promises we made

I love this song, it is so incredibly beautiful, and the piano is fantastic.  I heard an interview where Jackson describes this song as a funeral for a relationship, which is doomed, already over in the start of the song, and obviously didn't go as planned.  What he says, is that like a funeral, where the life a person is celebrated, and their good attributes, and the fond things that each person carries in their heart for the deceased are what counts when all is said and done.  The same is true he says of a relationship of any kind that doesn't play out as planned or ends, despite all efforts to fix what is broken.

I see this in my life as I move forward, accepting the changing factors of my life.  Anger has no use in a persons life, or at least mine.  True anger, at least for me is not a motivator, it turns into the worse thing that anger can for me personally, depression.  Yes, the definition of depression is "anger turned inward", and it gets stuck, causing wasted energy on sadness, which could be used to enhance my life and move forward, exploring the opportunities which lie ahead, waiting to help me grow into a better person, and effect positive change on our world.

That depression has the power to take over my whole world, and multiplies endlessly over flowing into every tiny corner of my world, and I lose the joy in most anything, and then of course, find myself depressed about everything I am not getting done.

I look back over the past weeks....I am pleased to say that my whole family has jumped on the  recycling band wagon, which is good, or I would have dropped it, and then been mad that I did!  It goes out, and gets picked up and goes away.  My husband now patrols the garbage, looking for stray recyclable items, that have slipped through the process.

Everyone but (funny choice of words) has accepted the recycled toilet paper, wrapped in paper, not plastic.  She believes it is a purchase made by me, to make her stays with us as uncomfortable as possible!!

The cats are properly recycling their wet food cans, and the dogs are playing their part by consuming as many paper towels and garbage as they can, to help us get a jump on composting.

I often forget to bring my reusable shopping bags, but I promise to try my best to remember.  We use biodegradable trash bags, and I store leftovers in items that are not single use.  Most of us avoid the plastic bottle, and to make up for any mistakes I buy pens made of recycled water bottles.  We buy our milk in a carton, instead of plastic, and could really go to glass.

I use bar shampoo, but I am continually looking for something better than what I have, and I am currently researching trading in my car for a hybrid.  Save gas, save money, etc.

Each day, I miss so many opportunities to be green, and I guess the good thing is that I realized that I am making mistakes, and that I have more to learn.  Since I have the time to explore life these days, I will continue to do this, and share any good environmentally friendly finds I discover with others by way of this blog.

So, today I chose to take the words of Jackson Browne, and remember that the value of anger in my life is low, the secret to success is to remember the good, and maintain the the love and energy gained from that part of any situation and carry that with me, to look for what I want in the next phases of my life.



But the moment has passed by me now
To have put away my pride
And just come through for you somehow

Running On Empty

Last Friday night I went with my husband to see Jackson in Peoria, where we enjoyed our great seats, time together, and had the pleasure of connecting with each other while listening to the words and music which have such an incredible impact on my personal life, emotions, and help me gain perspective on my life.  As this school year comes to a close, and the beginnings of summer are starting to peak out behind the clouds of the winter, I was able to gain a different perspective of the past year, where I started, and where I am today.

First of all, as Oprah began her 25th and final year, the promotions for the show were all about this incredible final year, and how many people's dreams she was going to make come true.  There were several conversations centering around bucket lists, and for a lot of people attending the Oprah show was one of their bucket list activities.  I certainly wouldn't have minded attending the show, but I have to admit that I never really made any effort to get tickets, or really even looked into how to make that happen.  So, apparently, this wasn't really something that I wanted all that much. 

Anyway....my point is this:  At that point the top of my bucket list, the thing I wanted to do most, was to meet Jackson Browne.  To say thank you to the person who wrote the words and music, that as I have said many times before, that are contained in his songs, and my relationship with his songs are the longest relationship with anything that I have ever had in my life. 

Last summer I started to think about Oprah, wish granting, and the idea that she and other talk show hosts sometimes make individuals dreams come true.  I realized pretty quickly that although I wasn't a bad person, I still had all of my limbs, I wasn't raising 12 orphaned children, I hadn't saved a family from a natural disaster and made them part of my household, while they rebuilt their life.  In fact, I had so ignored my family that my cat had moved out and found another family...she has since returned...it took canned food, bribery and convincing the other family that I really wanted said cat to return home, but that at this point she was going to live at the house that had the best food, and then prove that by buying better food than theirs! 

If I wanted to meet Jackson Browne, it was going to be something that I would have to make happen, and that I was in control of fulfilling my bucket list.

So, in this past year, with the help of my family, that happened.  I met Jackson, and I was able to reunite with his music, by attending, let's say a few concerts in the past 9 months. 

This experience was empowering for me in many ways.  I was really able to listen to his music, frequently, and with intense introspection into my life, where i was when I first heard certain songs, why those songs bring up certain emotions, and why I behaved as if I was spontaneously generated at the age of 35! 

I was able to look forward to what I may want to accomplish in my future, what changes I wanted to make in the way that I live, and what I felt was important.  I was able to connect with my daughter in a really meaningful way, through music, and concert attendance which allowed us to spend hours together getting to know each other as adults.  Also to spend hours laughing over things we did on our adventures which allowed me to feel young, and her to feel spontaneous and adventuresome.

As the month of May comes to a close, I may not know what is going to come next in my daily life, but I do know that even through difficult times, what I have learned about myself and others has enhanced my life in a dramatic way. 

This summer I am planning on moving forward on my quest to shrink my carbon foot print, learn the art of composting (my husband is actually excited about this), and just being more environmentally friendly.  I can see where that takes me, and what happens next.  I know if I remain open to learning from those around me, and listen to what my emotions are telling me, I will continue to learn and grow and become a better person. I think that is a pretty good goal for the coming months!

Every one I know, every where I go
People need some reason to believe.....

Running on empty, running blind
Running into the sun, but I'm running behind....

I am looking forward to slowing down, catching up, and enjoying every sandwich!