For a Dancer, one of the Jackson Browne songs, known as a funeral song. Somewhere I heard Jackson say that people often ask if there is an album of his that doesn't contain a song about people dying. He replied that he is drawn to write about death, as it is one of the most difficult concepts for people to grasp, and so hard to understand.
Into a dancer you have grown
From a seed somebody else has thrown
Go on ahead and throw some seeds of your own
And somewhere between the time you arrive
And the time you go
May lie a reason you were alive
But you'll never know
Today is the anniversary of my Mother's death. She was 54 when she died. We shared a birth date. I am 54, so I am exactly the age she was when she died. I have an almost 21 year old daughter, and a 19 year old son. I was 21 when my mother died. I look at my children, and I am certain they are not yet ready to no longer be "mothered". They are awesome young adults, and do a good job navigating the world they live in, but they still need their mother. Although I didn't know it then, I am pretty sure I did too.
The quote above is one of my favorites Jackson Browne quotes. There were several seeds that my mother threw that she never was able to meet, and know. She was responsible for the birth of me, and my two older sisters, so she was therefore indirectly responsible for her grandchildren. Thank you mom for your part in bringing Elizabeth, Naomi, Adam, Nick and Dan; my nieces and nephews into this world. Thank you mom for your part in bringing the greatest gift I have ever to receive into this world, my children. For without Katie and Andrew I would be nothing, they are my reason to exist, to pull my hair out in clumps, to laugh and to love. They teach me patience, tolerance, and how to love on a daily basis. They have taught me so much, opened my mind to understanding things which I would have never taken a chance at exploring, and they have taught me that my real dreams are not what I saw them becoming on the day they were born, but for their happiness and success in the life that they see for themselves!
Parenthood is probably not my greatest strength, but it is my greatest joy . Mom, I am sorry you were robbed of that joy at such an early time, and that you could only imagine what was to become, and that you missed getting to know the fabulous people created by the seeds that you threw, and the reason you were alive.
Your absence in felt in your children, their spouses, and your grandchildren. Thanks for the gift of life, I cherish it.
