When Warren Zevon made his final appearance on the Dave Letterman show, Dave asked him if his recent terminal diagnosis had caused him to have any new perspectives on life. He replied, "Not unless it is to remember to 'enjoy every sandwich'. Profound, yet simple, something everyone is probably aware of, but in the day to day craziness of life, we are too busy to take that time today, and it is put off until tomorrow, and so forth.
This is a picture of my little Warren Zevon. He does enjoy every sandwich, morsel of puppy chow, milk bone,and scrap of food that hits the ground. He enjoys riding in the car with his "family", playing in the yard with his dog "brother" Wrigley, chasing a ball, chewing a throw rug, licking the sofa, and dressing in handsome clothes. He loves to visit his human sister in the city, and staying at her apartment. There is not much is doesn't love, and to be honest, his little doggy life really doesn't throw much at him to worry about!
As the holidays approached, I found myself really excited this year, wanting to really enjoy this special time of year, and not have all the holiday decorating, and preparations seem like a chore. Accepting that with college aged children the family dynamics of the holidays changes, and it is up to me, to find different ways to enjoy the holidays.
Tradition one: we get our tree on Black Friday. It is a process, Mike's journey to find the "perfect" tree. It can take him more than one day of searching for that to happen, and more hours than anyone could imagine. Somewhere in high school the kids no longer found this to be a fun experience, they had a social life. I had given up on the experience many years prior, and it had become a father/children experience. In the last several years we learned that if Mike goes out and looks at as many trees as he wants to, even if he then returns and buys the first tree he looked at, he doesn't care, if it is the best one, he is happy. We always have a fabulous tree....and now that we don't join on the painful journey, the tree is enjoyed by all.
Tradition two: Waiting for Mike to get the tree into the house, and replace the lights that never seem to work, and put said lights on the tree. There are never enough, so then there are several trips for more lights, but in a day or two, tree is nicely lit.
Tradition three: I wait for this joyous evening, when all four of us excitedly gather in the living room and together decorate the tree, singing Christmas songs in harmony. This never happens. Since our children were past elementary school age, they have never really had that moment when this opportunity seems fun. For the past several years our tree wasn't fully decorated until Christmas Eve, and frankly last year many of our ornaments weren't even unpacked. I am usually annoyed by the time they agree to hang a few ornaments, and no one has fun.
This year I did something different. Mike brought home one of the best trees ever, and within a day, had lights on it, and there it sat ready for decorations. I decided to decorate the tree, and enjoy the experience. I have the time, and I am the one who wants it done. If I want it to be fun, then I have to avoid forcing my adult children to be nine years old again! I know they will love the tree, enjoy looking at it, and certainly won't care that we don't have to have the annual tree decoration disaster.
It is very possible that next year my life could hold some different challenges. Some of them, if I dwell, I find very frightening and overwhelming. However, today everything is fine, and I want to enjoy every sandwich. I found myself feeling emotional as I unpacked our family ornaments, and placed them on the tree. Each one seemed so special, so meaningful. Our tree, it appears to me, is a memory book of the life of our family. Each group of ornaments tell something, about us. What we did that particular year as a family. The Mickey Mouse, and Disney ornaments represent our favorite times together as a family in the happiest place on earth. We have a collection of trains, from Thomas the Train to a variety of Lionel engines, wooden trains, and rail cars. Andrew was a "train boy" from birth. When he was young we would hang the trains towards the bottom of the tree so he could move them around on the tree, which he did daily. We have decorated cows from the year the city of Chicago had the Parade of Cows. We took several trips to Chicago that summer to walk around and visit those cows, and take pictures of the kids with their favorite bovine. We have American Girl Ornaments to match Katie's dolls. There is an electric guitar, baseball bat and glove, Barbie ornaments to represent things the kids liked at certain times of their life. There is a collection from the Christmas Story from the year we fell in love with that movie as a family. We have a series of retro fisher price toys, replicas of the real ones I collect, as well as a collection of S'more ornaments, another favorite of mine. Most important there are the kids "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments and the home made ornaments the kids made in school, and have made it safely through the years.
The ornaments on our tree represent the layers of our family life. It shows our evolution as a family, what brought us joy at certain times of our lives, and who we are. The past few days, as I placed each one on the tree, I took the time to remember when and why each one became a part of our family, and what that time in our life felt like for us as a family. Time brings many changes, families change and evolve. For many years we were the owner of two beagles, Jack and Wrigley, who were very close. Our tree contained a pair of beagles that for some reason always had the strings tied together, so when the ornaments hung one beagle was resting on top of the other. Just like Jack and Wrigley. Jack passed away last winter, so yesterday I separated the ornaments for the first time, and hung them separately, because things change. Now we have Warren, and I need to find a Pug ornament, to hang beside the Wrigley ornament on our tree.
My hope for everyone I love this holiday season is for them to take a few moments to enjoy all of their sandwiches, and appreciate the history they are creating this year for their family, as well as the history of the past years.
