Sky Blue and Black

http://youtu.be/-BkNF-tOW_w

Sky Blue Sky Black

I hear the sound of the world where we played
And the far too simple beauty
Of the promises we made

I love this song, it is so incredibly beautiful, and the piano is fantastic.  I heard an interview where Jackson describes this song as a funeral for a relationship, which is doomed, already over in the start of the song, and obviously didn't go as planned.  What he says, is that like a funeral, where the life a person is celebrated, and their good attributes, and the fond things that each person carries in their heart for the deceased are what counts when all is said and done.  The same is true he says of a relationship of any kind that doesn't play out as planned or ends, despite all efforts to fix what is broken.

I see this in my life as I move forward, accepting the changing factors of my life.  Anger has no use in a persons life, or at least mine.  True anger, at least for me is not a motivator, it turns into the worse thing that anger can for me personally, depression.  Yes, the definition of depression is "anger turned inward", and it gets stuck, causing wasted energy on sadness, which could be used to enhance my life and move forward, exploring the opportunities which lie ahead, waiting to help me grow into a better person, and effect positive change on our world.

That depression has the power to take over my whole world, and multiplies endlessly over flowing into every tiny corner of my world, and I lose the joy in most anything, and then of course, find myself depressed about everything I am not getting done.

I look back over the past weeks....I am pleased to say that my whole family has jumped on the  recycling band wagon, which is good, or I would have dropped it, and then been mad that I did!  It goes out, and gets picked up and goes away.  My husband now patrols the garbage, looking for stray recyclable items, that have slipped through the process.

Everyone but (funny choice of words) has accepted the recycled toilet paper, wrapped in paper, not plastic.  She believes it is a purchase made by me, to make her stays with us as uncomfortable as possible!!

The cats are properly recycling their wet food cans, and the dogs are playing their part by consuming as many paper towels and garbage as they can, to help us get a jump on composting.

I often forget to bring my reusable shopping bags, but I promise to try my best to remember.  We use biodegradable trash bags, and I store leftovers in items that are not single use.  Most of us avoid the plastic bottle, and to make up for any mistakes I buy pens made of recycled water bottles.  We buy our milk in a carton, instead of plastic, and could really go to glass.

I use bar shampoo, but I am continually looking for something better than what I have, and I am currently researching trading in my car for a hybrid.  Save gas, save money, etc.

Each day, I miss so many opportunities to be green, and I guess the good thing is that I realized that I am making mistakes, and that I have more to learn.  Since I have the time to explore life these days, I will continue to do this, and share any good environmentally friendly finds I discover with others by way of this blog.

So, today I chose to take the words of Jackson Browne, and remember that the value of anger in my life is low, the secret to success is to remember the good, and maintain the the love and energy gained from that part of any situation and carry that with me, to look for what I want in the next phases of my life.



But the moment has passed by me now
To have put away my pride
And just come through for you somehow

Running On Empty

Last Friday night I went with my husband to see Jackson in Peoria, where we enjoyed our great seats, time together, and had the pleasure of connecting with each other while listening to the words and music which have such an incredible impact on my personal life, emotions, and help me gain perspective on my life.  As this school year comes to a close, and the beginnings of summer are starting to peak out behind the clouds of the winter, I was able to gain a different perspective of the past year, where I started, and where I am today.

First of all, as Oprah began her 25th and final year, the promotions for the show were all about this incredible final year, and how many people's dreams she was going to make come true.  There were several conversations centering around bucket lists, and for a lot of people attending the Oprah show was one of their bucket list activities.  I certainly wouldn't have minded attending the show, but I have to admit that I never really made any effort to get tickets, or really even looked into how to make that happen.  So, apparently, this wasn't really something that I wanted all that much. 

Anyway....my point is this:  At that point the top of my bucket list, the thing I wanted to do most, was to meet Jackson Browne.  To say thank you to the person who wrote the words and music, that as I have said many times before, that are contained in his songs, and my relationship with his songs are the longest relationship with anything that I have ever had in my life. 

Last summer I started to think about Oprah, wish granting, and the idea that she and other talk show hosts sometimes make individuals dreams come true.  I realized pretty quickly that although I wasn't a bad person, I still had all of my limbs, I wasn't raising 12 orphaned children, I hadn't saved a family from a natural disaster and made them part of my household, while they rebuilt their life.  In fact, I had so ignored my family that my cat had moved out and found another family...she has since returned...it took canned food, bribery and convincing the other family that I really wanted said cat to return home, but that at this point she was going to live at the house that had the best food, and then prove that by buying better food than theirs! 

If I wanted to meet Jackson Browne, it was going to be something that I would have to make happen, and that I was in control of fulfilling my bucket list.

So, in this past year, with the help of my family, that happened.  I met Jackson, and I was able to reunite with his music, by attending, let's say a few concerts in the past 9 months. 

This experience was empowering for me in many ways.  I was really able to listen to his music, frequently, and with intense introspection into my life, where i was when I first heard certain songs, why those songs bring up certain emotions, and why I behaved as if I was spontaneously generated at the age of 35! 

I was able to look forward to what I may want to accomplish in my future, what changes I wanted to make in the way that I live, and what I felt was important.  I was able to connect with my daughter in a really meaningful way, through music, and concert attendance which allowed us to spend hours together getting to know each other as adults.  Also to spend hours laughing over things we did on our adventures which allowed me to feel young, and her to feel spontaneous and adventuresome.

As the month of May comes to a close, I may not know what is going to come next in my daily life, but I do know that even through difficult times, what I have learned about myself and others has enhanced my life in a dramatic way. 

This summer I am planning on moving forward on my quest to shrink my carbon foot print, learn the art of composting (my husband is actually excited about this), and just being more environmentally friendly.  I can see where that takes me, and what happens next.  I know if I remain open to learning from those around me, and listen to what my emotions are telling me, I will continue to learn and grow and become a better person. I think that is a pretty good goal for the coming months!

Every one I know, every where I go
People need some reason to believe.....

Running on empty, running blind
Running into the sun, but I'm running behind....

I am looking forward to slowing down, catching up, and enjoying every sandwich!

Jackson Browne, Sleep's Dark And Silent Gate, 4-19-08

Sleeps Dark and Silent Night

I've been home sick for few days, so I have been doing a lot of looking at the world of "Greener Living" blogs,  the plastic pollution coalition, and trying to take in what I have been learning.



This is a picture of all of the plastic that was found in a juvenile sea turtle off the cost of Argentina.  Poor dude!  The less we use, the less chance of things like this continuing to occur.

I also found that in some places in Hawaii they have banned the plastic bag.  People bring a reusable shopping bag, or they can purchase paper bag with out handles.  

Sea World in San Diego is also banning the plastic bag from their shops and restaurants.  While other cities are doing events such as non plastic Wednesdays, or another single day during the week.  This promotes some thought for consumers, which may alert them to changing their way of thinking and what choices are made on a daily basis.

Things I have learned through trial and error.  The powdered laundry soap, housed in a box works great!  My clothes have never looked cleaner, I love it!  Still questionable on the bar shampoo, not totally satisfied with the results of any that I have chosen.  Love the produce bags, and my reusable shopping bags, they are really strong, and work well for schlepping anything, not just groceries.

Love the refillable soap dispensers, my husband, not so much!  Biodegradable trash bags have mixed results.  The Green Genius are great, and reasonably priced.  The next kind I bought, I discovered didn't have a tie on the top, so when my husband asked me what was with the current kitchen trash bag, I replied, "they are won't buy agains!"

While my husband is continuing his running, staying young by challenging himself to be healthier and active.  I will continue to go forward in my quest to learn how to better our environment, slowly, but learning and researching each step of the way.

I do not see an electric car in my near future, but maybe a hybrid....a used hybrid!

Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder
Where my life will lead me
Waiting to pass under Sleep's dark and silent gate

 

I really like this passage of Sleeps Dark and Silent Night.  It of course is out of context, but that is what is so special about using music to inspire and understand oneself.  One can take the smallest portion of a song, and use it out of context, for a totally different purpose. 

 

To me, out of context, it means just what it says.  While lying in bed waiting for sleep, we have the time and ability to imagine what is going to come next.  After all no one really knows, life takes many twists and turns, and it is what we do with those that really counts.  Every twist is a learning experience, and every turn is a new opportunity. 

 

Life is really an incredible journey!

 

 

Jackson Browne - Poor Poor Pitiful Me

Poor, Poor Pitiful Me

This is Howdy!  He came to live at work last year, when he was donated to our garage sale.  Weeks before the sale various people were already trying to buy him, and for some reason we couldn't part with him, and he is a permanent resident at our school.  He has traveled on various vacations with some of the kids and their families.  He has had sun screen applied, lipstick, and has had many a pretend meal made for him to eat.  He has even be given a mail order wife, Howdita, to keep him company.

Howdy at Myrtle Beach, hoping to not get caught in the condo!

Howdy and Howdita enjoy a tasty meal!

The other day I walked into work on my way out of town to drop a few things off, and there was a group of kids playing in the large motor room, and on one of the mats, on his side, looking a bit dirtier than I remember, and a little deflated, was Howdy.  I realized that I had forgotten about him, and hadn't known where he had been living the past few months, and even if he was still around. 

My mind wandered back a year ago, when he joined our staff, became an important member of our school, and a cow who everyone loved, young and not so young.  How could I have forgotten him?  His mail order bride is safely stored upstairs, while Howdy takes the brunt of the "love" from the kids. 

At this point I realized that it is time for me to stop feeling sorry for myself.  I too feel that I have been forgotten, and that I am a bit dirtier, and definitely deflated!  It is time for me to move on with a positive attitude, which will be the ticket to any successful change and transition occurring in my life, I get to choose what happens next.  I am pretty lucky.  I have options, I have a husband, kids, dogs, cats, and Howdita to help me begin my next journey in life.  I realized that Howdy wasn't really forgotten, maybe by me, but he had taken up residence is a classroom, living a spectacular life of love and interaction with the children in the class, getting bounced on, hugs, and kisses.  He may be older, but his life is good. He has yet to be put out to pasture!

I'd lay my head on the railroad tracks
And wait for the Double "E"
But the railroad don't run no more
Poor, poor pitiful me

I chose this song, which is really a Warren Zevon song, covered by Jackson, because it always makes me laugh.  When I feel like a failure there is humor, however, twisted, in the idea that one could be so unlucky that they couldn't even successfully end their life, choosing a railroad track that doesn't have a train!  It often helps for me to journey in my head to the point of total ridiculousness to see reality, and jump back and join the world again.  It also brings me back to my son, who loved every song with the word train in it, and didn't have to know or care what it was really about!

My daughter and I saw Jackson Browne on Thursday night.  He was really good, and as usual I liked hearing him sing, and talk about his life.  He always reminds me that I still have time to do lots of different things in my life!  We had never been to Grand Rapids before so we drove downtown to find the venue, to see how long it would take, and where to park, etc.  My daughter, who was born with the ability to spellcheck anything on the fly, quickly says that his name is spelled wrong on the marquee!  Sure enough, check it out!  When your last name is LaPointe, those silent vowels are imperative!  So we rounded the corner of the theater, and low and behold there is the bus!

On the windshield of the bus, is the parking permit, with the name Browne correctly spelled!  



Being a preschool teacher, I had a sharpie, note card, and scotch tape in the car!  We attached a note to the window which said:

Mr. Browne:  Your name is spelled incorrectly on the marquee.  It says Brown, not Browne. 

From the LaPointes not LaPoints!

When we returned for the show the marquee had been corrected, with the happy e in it's proper place.  I'd like to believe we had something to do with the correction which occurred, but even if we didn't, we sure had fun writing the note, and taping it to the bus.  I love going places with my daughter, she makes me feel young, she is really enjoyable, and she has a fabulous sense of humor.  I brings me back to the days, when I would have left a note on the bands, bus.....oh.....I guess I still would.

Now for some reflections on my plastic free, environmentally friendly life I am trying my best to live, or learn to live.  I learned something at this concert, regarding this quest.  I was trying my best to take these new ways of living into all aspects of my life, and for everything that I purchase, even if it wasn't for me.  Although, I enjoyed taking my quest for new habits to that length, I realized at the concert, even Jackson Browne himself doesn't do that!

What do I mean???  The bar and snack area outside the theater, was a virtual shrine to single use plastic.  There were tiny, and I mean tiny, wine glasses, single use plastic.  No one individual could consume only one, they were at most 1.5 ounces, and not reusable, water bottles, soft drinks poured out of 2 L plastic bottles, plastic lids on the cups, straws, larger plastic cups for mixed drinks.  The only non plastic item were the aluminum beer bottles!  So much for a plastic free tour!

My point is, that Jackson and his crew don't use single use plastic, however, he still performs at a venue that is using single use plastic, and going out of the way to use as much as possible, not just when necessary for safety!

What does this mean?  Even Jackson Browne has to make a living, and he does that by singing, so, he performs in venues which use single use plastic, rather freely!  Therefore, it is not necessary for me to carry my quest of the lines of my personal life, unless I am asked to!  I guess, that won't make me a hypocrite....It is a process of attraction, not promotion.