Hello, my name is Mimi, and I am a trash-a-holic. I find living in the world of no single use plastic unmanageable, and it is bringing me feelings of shame and doubt!
I had a complete and utter plastic consumption disaster yesterday. It was like every single use plastic product was chasing me through the city, and tempting me to use them, purchase them, jumping into my shopping cart, ending up in the seat next to me in my car, and emptying their product on my hair in the shower, and doing the shampoo, rinse, repeat, with out my permission. I was out of control. I ended the day with 7 single use plastic shopping bags, two empty single serve plastic milk bottles. I found myself in my office rolling up the plastic shopping bags, and stuffing them into a file cabinet so no one would see them!
This was a full blown relapse....I even purchased hostess cupcakes, which are not only packaged in plastic, I believe they are made out of plastic, and I consumed them along with my gas station drink in a lovely plastic disposable cup, straw included. One plastic item is too many, and one thousand is never enough!
So, to attempt to get it together today, I said the serenity prayer, then started over again today, trying to stay focused, and plastic free. I spent much of the morning moving things from our work storage unit across town, to our storage shed in our parking lot. I figured some manual labor, might get be back where I should be in the world of my "new way of living".
I am still waiting for the recycled bulk box of dog bones to arrive, and I hope it does before we run out, because it seems that if I end up having to buy the bones in plastic, I might go over the edge, and get them individually wrapped, then encased in more plastic and tied with a zip tie!
About my imagination
I'm making this investigation into my imagination
According to my computations
We're overdue for a transformation
Or is it my imagination?
This shouldn't be so difficult, but it is teaching me about myself, and how I operate. I am a perfectionist, which could surprise a few people. I am a control freak, I bet that's even more surprising. So, if I can't do something perfect, I sabotage myself, then I feel like a failure and look like I can't function or don't know how to do something. It becomes my excuse, and eventually it becomes who I am. I can't cook, I can't bake, and whether that is true or not, it is what I have always said, every since I forgot to put the sugar in the cake I was making for 7th grade home ec! I am not artsy or creative, but them one day I was assigned to make a poster for my daughters high school swim team, and I realized that I actually enjoy scrap booking and making storyboards, and they become an obsession, I can't stop until I am completely happy with the product. I stumbled on the swim team posters a few weeks ago, and now that I am almost 4 years removed from them, and more of an observer of the work, it is really pretty good, I really like it!
So, I think to move forward, I need to use my imagination, and picture the world I want to live in, and try to remain in that picture, until I don't want to run and hide, because I am sure I can't do it. Maybe through my imagination, I can make changes by forming a positive feeling of the image of me, the woman with the largest carbon foot print, watching it shrink daily, slowly but surely.
Three days ago, I prepared myself to make chocolate chip muffins, so I wouldn't buy treats in plastic, but the I can't bake image has stopped me. On my kitchen counter for three days, the cupcake pan with paper liners sitting in their spots, waiting for me to mix, stir, pour and bake....I am currently imagining myself, mix, stir, crack the eggs, and bake.
I hope the vision becomes a reality!
